not again........

benang yang tersimpul...^^

benang2 kehidupan




someone once said to me...
seseorang itu tertekan adalah sesuatu yg biasa...sesiapa juga akan berasa tertekan kn???(even me,,hehe)
tetapi mcmana kita menangani tekanan itu adalah sesuatu yg amat menguji diri...


ianya bukanlah bgaimana kite menghapuskan tekanan..tetapi bagaimana kiye menyalurkan tekanan... ye.. tekanan itu kalau x disalurkan ia mungkin akan hilang...namun..hilangnya hanyalah untuk 


seketika...


bila sampaniya sesuatu mengusik jiwa maka tekanan akan trhasil...menambah bebanan luka lama yg masih lagi belum terubat...


someone pernah ckp mcm ni kt aku..


andaikan setiap kali kita mengalami tekanan..ia umpama trhasilnya sehelai benang dalam hati kita...dan makin banyak episod telenovela tekanan yg kita alami...akan makin banyaklah benang yg akan kita peroleh...




dan it depends on us on how kita menguruskan benang yg hadir dalam hati kita...


sama ada

1- setiap benang yg kita ada kita susu dia dengan teratur...mana yg bersilang kita luruskan..mana yg kusut kita leraikan...hari demi hari...benang demi benang..

atau

2- kita hanya longgokkan benang2 yg ade...letakkan di satu sudut dalam ruang diri kita...tanpa kita kisah tentangnya...ia tetap di situ tak dibuang dan tak diambil peduli..

dan..

pada suatu hari...bila ruang utk benang yg baru sudah tiada lagi...maka kita perlu mencari ruang yg baru...sama ada ingin membesarkan ruang hati kita atau membuan sedikit 

benang yg dah kita ade..,

1- org yg selama ini menyusun benangnya dalam barisan2 yg trsusun...dengan mudahnye dia dpt menggantikan benang lama dengan yg baru....

2- bagi org yg benangnya telah pun tergumpal membentuk bebola benang...akan amat sukar bagunya utk menarik seurat benang dari gumpalan itu...amatlah susah...dan dia akhirnya akan menjadi sgt terbeban..sgt tertekan...dan mungkin benangnya xkan selamanya dpt terungkai...

so...

pilihlah cara bagaimana anda menguruskan benang-benang hidup anda..

hmm..

aku??..

i once said that thread and needle are best friends in sewing..but it also can hurt the person who use it..it gives hurt as much as it can...

in my life...there is thread..and even threads...

dan di hujung benang hidup aku..ade sdikit gumpalan yg wujud..semakin hari gumpalan itu semakin tak terungkai..and aku sedang berusaha keras utk merungkainya sebelum benang yg baru menjelma dalam hidup aku...(tersirat sikit ayat ne...hehe)..

doakan kesuccesan ak ye..hehe..

have a good day..^^

expect the worst..

sometimes in our life, we decide to expect the worst.
sometimes we have no choice but to have a bad thoughts.

for me myself, when the worst thing that worried me much did happened, and came like a combo meals with all the bad thought that i previously had in mind,Gosh! for god sake it didn't make me feel any better!

expecting the worst,is just a superficial feeling, cause deeply inside, i know well how high my hopes n assumptions are. I want this particular things to be the best.Please oh bad thought thinking .pleasee.. just stay as thought, do not ever approach me in real life.

Now that i'm traumatize to know being in a worst situation in life is just another option.
gosh, how i realize expecting something worst to happen really does not work, perhaps for me.
It might help heighten the joy when something good happen,but it does not act like a cushion to comfort me when falling from high.

like seriously, mentally prepared for the worst outcome is not helping!

so what's next??

Allah, please guide me, please guide us.

Gave mercy for me, gave mercy for us.

strengthen my Iman, and those surround me.

soften their hearts and heart of me.

Forgive me for the bad thought i've,

clear my mind from any impurities

Allah,

Please help me ALLAH, for i'm  very weak.

for i'm still afraid of what others people would think of me

come and let me out...

Mencabar nya hidup sekarang ni..tambah-tambah la dengan poblem2 yg keep coming cam hujan yg mencurah2 nie,,..
Rasa bersyukur nye, genie in the bottle didn't come out n tunaikan hajat aku masa kecik dulu..
nk tahu, masa kecik,i used to..u know, wishing to growing up faster, to be an adult asap.
sbb masa tu, rasa macam da banyak sgt masalah kanak-kanak2.
If i grow up, and be an adlt, then i'll be free from all those problems.naive.

Homework belambak-lambak,malam takde keje laen,buat homework,buat homework.
Tapi tak dapat no satu dalam kelas pn,tp my lil brother tiap2 kali pun dapat no satu, tak pun no 2,
and subjek terbaek..sedey betul.rasa macam da bodoh sgt da.masa tu rasa mcm life is miserable.
(tak kira masa org2 panggil kau bodoh,tau la mulut budak2, suka hati je nak cakap apa, takde tapis, die rasa kau bodoh,die cakap terus.takpela, at least dia jujur :) )..hehehe

n then..aku selalu rasa duet belanja tak cukup, konon-konon nnt da besar, da keje.
dapat bnyak duet boleh beli apa saja

tapi sekarang da besar..rupanya lagi banyak masalah..
betul la cikgu cakap kat sekolah,"masalah korang ni kecik je,da besar nanti baru korang tahu"
kan kan..tapi masa tu, tak percaya pun ape y cikgu cakap.

Da besar, sama je..takde nye hilang masalah tu..
Sekarang masalah makin la rumit..
Depress masa dalam kelas, still rasa kurang pandai..tapi impak lagi kuat.
sebab at least dulu, kalau bace sekali boleh paham n igt..
either u study or not, sekarang..miracle nye kalau sekali baca da boleh faham dan igt!

Dulu kalau la, ade duet lebih sket boleh beli aiskrim pop dua.
beli air gas selalu time rehat.waktu balik boleh beli gula-gula.
tak lupe gak aku slalu curik gula-gula masa skulah dulu...haha..ooopppss..pecah rhsia..hehe...


so sekarang, i'm no longer wish to get older faster, instead i wanna have my childhood  back.time machine is exactly what i need! i promise i will be a good kid ever.i'll never never ever complaint bout life anymore.
i promise..genie give me the time machine now

enjoy ur reading...^^.

truly what i think...^^

I am probably one of millions blogger out there, who struck by a malas-update-blog syndrome.okay, i'm not lazy, actually i have so much things to tell the world. it's not that the laziness makes me away from the blog. to look back, it's the fear of being judge by reader(s) makes me reluctant to start typing.

once, one of my fren said, not specific to me but generally to all bloggers."tak payah la kot nak cte ko mkn ape, pegi mane, letak gambar ko bnyak2 dlm blog tu"and i was like, dang!!... and baekla. ikut ckp die.

stupid ain't it?

but for whatever reasons, i've made my mind. either turning this blog into private one, or just write out anything here, and put the fear, and vulnerable part of me aside...huhu. biar la ape org nak cakap...people complaint much...muahaha...like i don't.

what i say? i choose the last option. :)

so,i may post anything,bout my daily life perhaps.what i eat or drinks and stuff.it's not like u all care, but it's my blog anyway XD.

phew. at last...finish!!

p/s: tengah buat esemen pn smpat update blog...heheh

the eyes..

al-kisah...

Tinggal seorang lelaki buta, semua orang membencikannya kecuali kekasihnya.
Lelaki itu selalu berkata kepada kekasihnya "saya akan mengawini awk kalau saya boleh melihat" Pada suatu hari datang seseorang mendermakan matanya kepada lelaki itu. Bila lelaki itu boleh melihat,dia merasa sangat terkejut kerna kekasihnya juga buta.Kekasihnya berkata "sudikah awak berkahwin dengan saya sekarang?"Lelaki itu menolak.. Lantas,kekasihnya tersenyum dan pergi sambil berkata "TOLONG JAGA MATA SAYA BAIK2"

(p/s: someone forwards this to me)

happy..^^

in ONE word.
how was your day??
:) productive!

how's yur feeling?
HAPPY

well, i even take a test "how happy are you"
the result shows that im doing extremely well.
i am completely in a happy zone.

whoaa~
im happy to be happy.
\(^_^)/

life is to short to not be happy.you can choose to be happy now.

and today..we went for movie at JJ...nanti lah aku citer..hehe




thanks for viewing...^^

Living a routine life

Syazwan adi bagun super early this morning :) bukan sebab aku tidur awal, tp tido agak lewat jugak, pkl 2 pagi something. ( haha…bukan agak lewat..tp lewat sgt ye..) dengan bersemangat penuh azamnya aku bangun awal  because i know that today i'm going to do something xtraordinary- joging !..to me..xtraordinary la tu…x rmai tau suka jogging pagi2..haha

i think i'm tired of doing a routine life. Rountiness are so boring kan? now aku dah sedar kenapa tiap2 hari je aku rase malas...everyday doing same things and keep repeating it.. I'm actually sick of routiness.(is there such a word as routiness ?)…x abis2 ngn word that I create..haha..lari tjuk skit..smlm lg laa..aku create pkataan baru.. “monachratic”..haha..ade ke??..last2 kna tegur ngn mr E..hmm..but ok laa..learn from mistakes yaa..^^..

back to topic..Somehow aku rasa, rutin hari-hari bagi false feeling  that everything is okie dokie and stable.wheres, they are NOT. Rasa takde improvement plak dalam hidup. Life must diteruskan..but..do we need to continue life by just only doing same things???...of coz its boring la kan… 

hmm..

then…dis mornim..i tried to break my routines..hehe…dgn bgn awalnye…there’s another reason ak bgn awal..nk hantar rumet ak naik bas pegi teluk pe ntah..haha(..untung la sape dpt rumet prihatin macam aku ni)..haha

but..ade but ye..after I send off my rumet.(lepas babai2,,peluk2..oopss!!..haha)..ak decided to smbung kejap la tido…still sleepy…and………………..guess what????????

*

*

*

I woke up at 9!!!!!!....hancur musnah luluh impian aku…haha…I wanted to jog but the sun oredy up and bright..it just like when I look up at the sky..the sun said to me.. ”haha..padan muka ko..nak break rutin la konon”..it really kills me..haha..(try and imagine the scene).. and…frust2 gile r td..huhu

so...learn from it..dah bgn tido tu jangan sambung balik..terlajak plak nanti..haha.....^^

thanks 4 reading..^^

problems???

today..i was not myself at all....although we had makan2 to celebrate my friends birthday...but i could'nt help myself to enjoy it.....

many things bothered me..

and it keeps bothering me..

problems...

then..your smile kind of cheered me up..hehe..tq 

but...naahh...just let it be...setel r tu nanti..hehe..(hope so..)

mind you...there is NO shortcuts!!

"If you are too focused on the result and try to develop shortcuts, you are going to have to pay it back later somehow"

Rasa macam ayat ni  mmg dituju khas untuk syazwan adi…haha...Membayangkan dasyatnya consequences which i'll have to face in the future gara-gara gaya hidup sebagai student yang sambil lewa is exactly macam thunder strucking on my head..huhu...not less….Fuh bikin berderau je darah satu badan ni….hmmmm

Then,…dua tiga kali jugak aku ulang study(kononye la)…buat revision(revision ke???)…tp dalam inbox kotak minda aku ni,ayat tu automatik ter-translate dalam bahasa Msia "Kalau kau sibuk sangat pasal end result final exam nt, dan sambil lewa dalam belajar b.i ni, terima la padahnya nanti, bila kau menjadi seorang cekgu nanti...ape pun x dapat!"…for real i heard me saying that to myself .

even mr lim who is our lds lecturer, said that,..to be at the highest level/expert in linguistics, we actually need to start from below going step by step upwards, we don't easily jump….even he agreed that, there are NO shortcuts! I repeat..NO shortcuts!!...he's such an expertise by almost 30 years teaching experience, thus he sure knew better.He is an expert in linguistics… “no child left behind!”..his famous quotes…haha…it really inspired me though..^^

Dush2!!!...hit myself with broom stick..haha....where am i rite now? am i the one who is climbing the stairs step by step or the other who just thinking of an easy way to escape?

Instantly, i thought that i had no choice right now, but to take every single things, even the most tiny lil thing in this teaching field as a severely serious things…though, i'm out of time right now, but,still hoping that i'll be a better student learner mastery all the the subjects and later on become a reliable teacher..(and to be a nice an sweet teacher also )..haha…angan2 je lebih.. :P




InsyaAllah

is it???....lawak2..

tenang-tenang

Masa lapang itu dari Allah. Tidak cukup masa? Maka pintalah dariNya.

Kefahaman itu dari Allah. Sukar faham? Maka pohonlah dariNya.

Ketenangan itu dari Allah.Gundah gulana? Maka berdoalah kepadaNya.

Kejayaan itu dari Allah. Gembira? Maka bersyukurlah kepadaNya.

Kesihatan itu dari Allah. Kurang sihat? Pintalah kepadaNya.

Semuanya dari Allah, kan?

***

Haa. Tenang tenang si hati tenang. Segalanya sudah tertulis.

Yakin yakin si hati yakin. Kalau dah rezeki, takkan ke mana.

Iman iman si hati beriman. Allah sudah tentukan. Biarlah manusia pandang hasil, Allah pandang usaha. Semua orang boleh berjaya, tidak semua orang dapat pahala.

Tenang tenang si hati tenang.

Only in the remembrance of Allah, will heart find peace. :)

haha...gambaran hati seseorang...

it all ends 17.7.2011

it all ends 17.7.2011

ak baru je balik beli tiket harry potter and the deathly hallows part 2....haha...jangan jeles eh...

walaupun movie tu akan di tayangkn mggu depan...tp ak dah book awal2 tiket tu so that xlaa..ak kempunan lagi nak tgk cite ni..haha.....td beli untuk 16 org kot..n all of them are my classmates...ni kiranya aktiviti ngn diorg r ni..haha..tp mahal la td...kenapa hari tu ak beli 9 ringgit je..ni dh naik 13 ringgit plk...x patot btl...haha

ni ak plan utk diorg2 semua...hope jadi la ye



                                                                   

ade iras ak x???..haha

hati...

tiap kali ak dgr je nasyid....sume lagu nasyid ne kena dgn kisah idup ak skrg...
terumbang ambing...
dibelenggu masalah...
konflik...

sume ade kaitan ngn hati.....dan perasaan...

permudahkn lah urusan ak ya Allah....

ya Allah...

hati ini penat merintih...
hati ini penat menanti...
hati ini penat menunggu...
hati ini penat menahan pedih...
hati ini penat menangis...
hati ini penat berduka...

hati ini penat..

sgt penat...

ak nk...dan ak ingin terus menanti...

the smile..

sometimes...

its hard...when i'm completely ignored..
but,..when i saw the smile...its like the most beautiful things i've ever seen..
teringat plk lirik lagu bruno mars
"and when u smile...the whole world stops and stares for a while..~~"
but..to me..its more than that..
hmm..
when can i see that smile again???...
hoping for that....

tatkala titisan mutiara mataku menitis

mutiaraku...
air mata ini menitis...
mengenang nasib yang menimpa diri...
seakan kegelapan mula membaluti diri...

seakan cahaya semakin menjauhi diri...
seakan tiada lagi tempat untuk mengadu...
seakan tiada lagi peluang untuk dimaafi...
seakan hampir dibakar api menjulang tinggi...
seakan tiada lagi bunga-bunga kebahagiaan
seakan tiada lagi wangi-wangian kebahagiaan...

seketika kemudian...
aku bertanya kepada diri...
salahkah apa yang aku lakukan...?
salahkah apa yang aku fikirkan...?
salahkah apa yang aku katakan...?

ku angkat tanganku...
menyapu air mata yang mengalir di pipiku...
kau hebat air mata...
kau dapat mengalahkan ego sang kerdil ini...
kau dapat mengalahkan ego sang manusia ini...
kau dapat mengalahkan ego sang murabbi ini...
kau dapat mengalahkan ego sang pendidik ini...

walau setinggi mana ego mereka...
walau seteguh mana ego mereka...
walau setegap mana ego mereka...

kau tetap meluru laju...
membasahi pipi mereka...

namun...

alhamdulillah...

tatkala aku mengalirkan air mata...
saataku dimuhasabahkan oleh seorang teman...
saat aku dipujuk olehmu...
disaat itulahaku sedar akan kesilapanku...

wahai...

kawanku sahabatku...

^^,

coretan diri....

coincidence???

i hate all this....x suka..x suka...x suka..hahaha

things happen just like i wanted but not as i wanted it to be?...understand or not...hehehe...biar konpius skit

my life is like a dice now...huhu

is life like a dice???....i'm kind of agree with it bcoz mine now seems to be like that..contoh la kn..kita roll dice tu nk no 6..tp dpt no 3..roll skali lg..tp x dpt gak no 6..mksudny ap yg kita harapkan...n untill now what i hope for was none of it became true and what i did'nt hope for always there everytime..but itulah kehidupan kan...susah2..nk lain..dpt lain...but it do relate with what i hope for and is it a coincidence??...i also dont know maa..hehe(gelak sorg2)....ak je yg paham nape k...

i'm not like others..meaning my frenz....it seems that to them it is really easy to achieve what they want and i'm a bit jealous (a bit ke??)..haha..bila la ak nk jd cam diorg ea..tu laa syazwan adi....peluang ade x guna2 btl2...kalau mlepas nanti padan muka...susah kn nk achieve bnda n success in life..

ak pn xtau nk buat ap lg....hmm...sigh..(x abis2 mengeluh)

bila la pokok tu nk berbunga ea???...hhaha...yg org tu tgh tggu ap tu???....renung2kn..^^